I have heard this expression over and over again in my life. I feel as if it is a building block in life, and I definitely feel as if parents use it to sculpt their children. For example, when I was young I used to say I would do something, but whether I got around to actually doing it or not was another story. What I mean is, anyone can say that they are going to do something, but those words only count once you actually perform the action that you said you would. The fact of the matter is, what you do is much more important than what you say.
I can think of tons of examples of this that happen every day, all across the world. The first example that pops in my head when I think of this phrase has to deal with addictions. Alcoholics, or drug users often times lose their jobs, or lose their family due to their problem. In many of these situations the user decides that it is time to make a change, and to fight off the addiction. Now, we have all seen movies, when a druggy or alcoholic says the words, "I'm going to get clean," or, "I'm going to go to rehab," what does that usually mean? It means that the person has thought about the damage that the particular substance has done to their life, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are willing to give it up. In many cases drug users say that they are going to get clean, but unless they are facing some sort of punishment they will not give up their addiction. An action that would definitely speak louder than words would be if a drug user or alcoholic made it through a rehabilitation program and completely sobered up rather than just saying that he/she would.
Another example of actions speaking louder than words has to do with love, and how you show it. A guy might tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but in their relationship he does not treat her well at all. Does he actually love her? No, he is just telling her what she wants to hear. An action that speaks louder than the words, "I love you." would be a proposal, which would most likely be accompanied by the words, "I love you." There are many ways to show someone that you care about them without actually telling them. Inadvertent communication comes into play in a scenario where one person recognizes the care and love that another has for them, just by the way they look at him/her. The message of, "I love you," comes through the way one looks at another when they actually mean it. Another expression used commonly explains this situation, "It is written all over your face." Communication is a very complicated subject to fully grasp, but it is also very interesting to discuss and study. Actions will always speak louder than words for the sole reason that anyone can go around saying that they are going to do something, or saying that they believe something, but not anyone can go around and actually act on their words. I could say I was going to go out and find a great job, but whether I go do that or not is what will affect my life in the long run.
This is the first time in all my years of teaching where students talk about romance in an economics class. I guess spring is close at hand. In my day it was customary to buy "the rock" at around the time of the proposal - though it unclear to me whether the timing is for the ring to be presented when the offer is made or if only after the offer has been accepted. Assuming that still is the custom, can you communicate well yet abandon the custom?
ReplyDeleteI really liked your idea of inadvertent communication being written all over the person’s face such as when one recognizes that their partner loves them by the look they are giving them. This is an interesting situation, because they are inadvertently sending a message through their actions, but at the same time, this same scenario can be used in actively sending a message. For example, a person can try to communicate that they like/ love a person through the way they can look at them. This can happen in established relationships, or while trying to catch the other’s attentions through flirting. In flirting, a person uses a lot of actions that may communicate something to the other individual, even while discussing mundane topics. If this is picked up and reciprocated by the other person, then they may be asked out. After all, nobody wants to be rejected outright, so it is easier to try to deliberately send signals through one’s actions.
ReplyDeleteIn response, to the Professor’s question regarding rings, nowadays there is a lot of diversity in proposals. I know people who get engaged first and then went and purchased the ring together, I also know some who proposed with a ring, and some who elected to bypass the ring entirely. This would suggest that the concept is still correct that a person is communicating love through the proposal, moreso than the ring, but that the ring is just an added traditional, romantic gesture. Still, in all situations, if giving the other person a ring, the person usually accepts the proposal before receiving the ring, regardless of the formality of the proposal. Even when the proposal is a surprise, the ring will not actually be put on the person’s hand until they accept.
hey John, Professor wants to meet up sometime with out group this week. How does Wednesday look for you?
ReplyDeleteI think that one thing you hit on much more than I did was saying something but not following through or maybe just not meaning it in general. Sometimes I feel that no one can really understand yourself except you. I like that you mentioned that it happens all of the time. It really does. I find myself constantly making goals and setting up things that will give me an extra boost and I don't always follow though. I can only imagine where I would be if I put every productive schedule, I thought I could handle into action. If people did that, the world would certainly be a different place. Even if it was just for one day they lived the way they say they'll live. On a side note i am quite interested as to see how professor is going to mesh all of our random stories into economic substance.
ReplyDeleteGreat examples regarding addiction and love - very true. In both cases, I'd like to think that the saying "talk the talk, but walk the walk" can apply. As you said, many people repeat empty phrases like "I'll get clean" or "I love you" but do not follow through. For addicts, perhaps there is an initial burst of motivation but it decreases over time. For love, there are quite a few dysfunctional relationships where people profess their love but do things that are contradictory, such as physical or verbal abuse. At the end of the day, results are what matters and those results are born through action, not words. I'd guess that results of following through are easier to see in a drug scenario, where their health and state of addiction is shown clearly on their face and through their actions. In bad relationships, some people choose to hide the state of affairs and put on an act more than others.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job in explaining your examples on love and drugs. It is true that many times people don't realize their problems on their own until they see their actions being carried through. This is why it does make it easier for people to say that actions are stronger than words. I had the opportunity of working at a Drug abuse center where many of the folks in there still felt as though they had no problem. They were just in the rehab center to please their spouses and/or families. However there was a significant attitude and actions change that could be picked up between these two different individuals. Those that wanted to be there and knew their habits would participate heavily in discussions and would have a more positive attitude in being there in general, which was not the case with those who didn't realize why they were there. I think like you said, it really does take actions to see that they can complete rehab successfully verses those who simply say they will go to rehab but not follow through on their actions- or if they do end up going, they go fro the wrong reasons and accomplish nothing.
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