I can only really think of one circumstance in which I empowered somebody to do something that would better themselves that I consider an important situation. My friend and teammate growing up was a great kid, but came from a tough family. A family who had a tough time supporting my friend, and a lot of the opportunities that I experienced, he could only dream of. Not only was he a hard worker, but he was one of my better friends too. When it came to senior year in high school we discussed what we were going to do for college and what not, and my friend told me that he had no intention of going because he was pretty sure that his parents could not afford it. I told him about student loans, or to look into the community college near our town. He did just that, and he ended up going to the community college for two years. Once he got to school, I urged him to tryout for the basketball team, and he did just that. He tried out, and not only did he make the team, but he became a starter in his first season. A kid that was never recruited heavily in high school became a starter on a community college team, and all of a sudden he was getting scouted by some decent teams in the Chicago land area.
After his two years were up at the community college, I urged my friend to look to play at a 4 year university, and finish up his bachelor's degree. Again, my words influenced, or "empowered" him to stay motivated, apply to different schools, stay and basketball shape, and ultimately land him a walk on spot at a pretty good school in the city. Friends really do have an empowering influence over one another, and there are certain situations (like the one I just described) that are great, and there are other situations where you have to just make your own decision. I know that if I had not pushed my friend to continue to fill out applications, continue playing ball, etc. that he would be working full time hours at some junky job, and now he has a much brighter future ahead of him. I never really thought about the whole situation, but it was actually quite beneficial for me as the friend to stand by and see that I made a difference in one of my closer friends lives. I don't think I was trying to persuade him through anything but sincere words, and beliefs, and I really think that plays large part in empowering another person to do something.
In this example you seemed like an unofficial guidance counselor. So I've got to wonder about the official sort and whether that was present in this case.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to tell form what you've written whether the main issue was that your friend simply didn't have the information about opportunities or if there was a confidence issue and your role was to bolster his. I do believe on the latter friends can be enormously helpful because they can see the upside in things.
My favorite word in this post was sincere. I think that if people can really tell that you care or feel connected, you gain a level of credibility. If you genuinely care I believe most people will at least take you seriously. Then you begin to have people connect you with that idea, this is multiplying influence and leads to real leadership. Obviously if you sincerely care about something that the individual stands against it will be difficult to persuade.But sincerity is a positive step.
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